And of course, when you turn down these most lucrative requests or
ignore the email, the comments quickly become “that arrogant, `thinks she’s
too good for anyone`, jerk” and let’s not forget, the old faithful, “What a bitch!”
Do you think you’re the first person to come up with this great idea?
Most likely, they are getting tons of emails/requests to do this and
even if they accepted a minimal 4-6 a week, that’s a lost day in their life,
the life of their family and their bank account.
Why would ANYONE expect ANYONE to do that?
When you ask someone to give you a discount or worse, do something
for you for free or as a favor, you are telling them that you don’t believe
their time is of any value -at least not to you.
You are saying, “I value ME more than I value YOU or your time,
so please do this for ME for free.”
When you ask someone for a freebie, you are stating that
their time, energy or product has a value of zero. Actually,
you are asking them to hand you money.
IF their product is worth 200 bucks, and you asked for a 50% discount
– you just asked them to hand you 100 bucks.
If they get 150 bucks an hour (whether you think they deserve it or not
is immaterial) and you ask to pick their brain for an hour, you’ve just
asked them to hand you 150 bucks.
This might be OK if you are old friends or close family, BUT most of the
time it’s not a friend or family member, it’s a stranger, and it’s NOT OK.
It is rude and insulting.
So before you ask someone to give you a handout,
ask yourself from which angle you’re coming from-
the close friend, family member OR the rude insulting stranger.
Yep, I said it. Someone needed to. So just STOP it!
Parents Start Your Engines. It’s almost time for your six plus month
abandonment of your family.
That’s right, according to Nielsen, the average person is way
too distracted with technology and now spends
11 hours a day ON gadgets -and 7 hours and 15 minutes
of that time is spent on TV, smart phones and computers.
That is 2,610 hours a year,
that is THOUSAND) OR 194 (15 hour) days,
OR (6.46) almost 7 months of life
that is NEVER EVER replaced.
What does that mean for your kids, your family?
It means that the average person spends almost 7 months
every year totally UNconnected from the people in their life
that need them the most or that mean the most to them.
This does not include the 8-10 hours each day that everyone
is at work or commuting- although some of the working stats
of the tech may be during the time at work.
And these stats are from 2014
… do you think it has gotten any better?
No decent person would dream of getting into a car and just
abandoning their loved ones- especially children who need constant
(daily) guidance, love and nurturing-for almost 7 months every year.
I know to some of you this sounds ridiculous and even harsh, BUT
it is not really as far off as you might think.
Do your own research
Pay attention to those around you when you go out… watch the
parents on their phones while walking through the stores, the parking lots,
sitting in restaurants or even at stop lights.
Time that used to be spent talking (even if just light-hearted & superficial)
AND PAYING ATTENTION to those in the car with them, is now spent
texting, or talking on the phone to someone.
Kids who have been at daycare all day WANT AND NEED to reconnect
with parents, and have some undivided attention, and it not only doesn’t
happen, I have seen parents yell at, insult, or just admonish with a dirty look
a child who is vying for their attention while they are on that blasted phone.
Valuable (irreplaceable) time and memories are being lost.
The trouble with relationships is they don’t STAY fed or attended to.
You can’t give attention on the weekends, and tell yourself that they
should be fine until next weekend.
Kids are needy… and seeing to those needs is not just good parenting,
it’s also smart parenting, if you want them to grow up to NOT be needy.
They need parenting every day and spouses need our attention.
While I hope I haven’t offended anyone (at least not too badly),
I am more hopeful that I got your attention.
So…rather than argue with me, defend the current trends,
make excuses, deny your guilt (if any), how about just
taking an assessment of YOUR life, being brutally honest
about your time and how you spend it, and then if you need to,
apologize to your special people BUT then take action to
reconnect and put the tech gadgets where they belong.
For the computer or smart phone, that means turned off
at least until the little ones are in bed and during the times
your spouse wants some of your sexy self
(YES, this matters too, but that is a whole different article)
… and for the TV that may be in a closet, or even the trash!
Prioritize your life. Especially if you have a family. Put them
where they belong on your list and that is NOT after your career.
NO ONE is so important that others need 24/7 access to them
unless it is a special situation.
Careers come and go, Family doesn’t (well unless you lose them
due to neglect & disconnect)
A leader needs followers. Otherwise he is simply one lone person
and one lone person can’t do nearly as much as a giant “movement”
Starting a movement based on your passion is not only fantastic
(unless you AND your passion are screwed up and hate filled),
but pretty much necessary IF your passion includes helping others,
making a difference or changing the world.
In this “Ted Talk” video Derek Sivers explains quickly and efficiently,
how to start a movement, so it was just easier to include it
and allow you to watch it for yourself.
And then there is this one… which I add as much for my own
delight, as for further explanation, and although it is less obvious
as the example above, it is still a wonderful example of a movement.
Voted as one of the BEST examples of a flash mob, which is basically
a mob of people who began singing and dancing in what seems at first
like a unrehearsed free for all, (but is really a short choreographed performance),
in public places to the delight of those who were lucky enough to catch it
Make it interesting to enough people, make it FUN (if you can), appeal
to the egos and passions of those you want to join you, and
use some entertaining techniques that appeal to many and you have a movement
Hint: you also gain the approval of those who are on the sidelines.
So, decide what you want to do about what you feel strongly about
and realize that you need to just get started.
BUT, where do you begin? Didn’t you watch the videos? Especially
the second one?
You begin at the beginning. It is always a very nice place to start.
The beginning of the “Most wonderful time of the year.”
From October 1st thru January 3, I am in either Seventh Heaven or Hog Heaven (depending on how well you like me) and thoroughly Loving every single day.
The cool crisp air that turns into (sort of) cold air with warm comfort foods and snuggly clothes and blankets while enjoying a lazy fire (roaring fires are for snow days and blizzards) with those you love.
Don’t have any “those you loves” Go get some. No one should ever be alone (not even if you want to) since we are created to be relational creatures.
If you seriously do not have any friends or family to love, then get out, find some (safe) interesting groups to join AND volunteer at a shelter or some other charity close to your heart and you will soon have more “those you loves and those who love you” than you will have time for. … and what a problem that is to have.
Here is some simple advice to limit your risk in a breach, sort of like using an umbrella
during a rain shower to limit your probability of getting wet.
The rain is still gonna happen, and you are most likely going to get a little wet,
but if you have done a little prep in advance, you should not get soaked.
First things First.
Create a couple of email accounts ( I recommend at least 3) at a free email
service like yahoo (I know!), outlook live, or gmail. Make them ONLY for the
purpose of being used on the internet, and PLEASE don’t make them your
name-initial-and year born. Make them something less…personal.
Create one for social media sites and one for online newsletters or other
offers you sign up for or opt in to, and one for important banking stuff.
And only use them for what they were created for.
Make sure it is NOT the same one you use for your personal email and
certainly do NOT add any of your friends and family to your contact list
in these emails, that way IF (when) you get hacked or breached, you
do not cause problems for them by getting them onto spam lists,
or worse yet…hacked.
Make your passwords tough ones. SERIOUSLY tough-especially
the one for banking stuff. Have it generated for you by a password
generator- you can find one online by googling password generator.
Write your emails and their passwords down OFFLINE somewhere.
I keep all my stuff in two separate address books (one for ready use
and one for backup), stored in two separate places, AND be sure to
update them every time you make any changes to those emails
I hear you griping.
NO IT IS NOT TOO HARD OR TOO MUCH WORK. There are only three,
for pete’s sake.There are certain things in life that must be done in order
to do certain other things, and you suck it up, put on your grown up panties,
and JUST DO THEM.
We go through pregnancy and labor to have our babies, we go through
HUGE hassles to get a mortgage to buy our home, we clean our houses
(eventually), we brush our teeth everyday, so as not to gross others out
when we talk to them and don’t end up with gum disease, and we go to
work everyday, and that really can be way too much work
(see what I did there?), because we want the money.
In other words, IF you want to play in the big world, you have to do a
few things to make it work correctly.
When were you born, and where do you live again?
The other thing I might mention, though it is against the TOS
(terms of service) of most platforms, is that many people have
a fake bio of personal data that does not have accurate birthdays,
mother’s maiden names, addresses (both current or past), and
“favorite” answers to security questions… since all of those can
and ARE used to steal identities and cause other serious problems.
If you do this, you must also accurately write all this information
into those address books and keep it current, especially as to where
each bio is used, otherwise you may not be able to prove you
are YOU and regain access to your email/social accounts in the
event of a breach. (I do not recommend using false names)
You can also get a google voice or other online phone number
to use on those email/social platforms. Those numbers can usually
be set up with voice mail that is sent to text to your cell phone.
And last but not least, a bit of scam defense.
I am hoping everyone already knows to Never EVER EVER EVER,
give your social security number to anyone on the phone, in an email
or on an online site, regardless of who SEEMS to be asking.
NO legitimate source, not a bank, not the IRS, not even God will
ever email you or call you to get this info. Promise.
(and if they do, SHAME ON THEM, and still do not give them the info)
Never click on any link inside of any email that is sent to you
from any where (including paypal or other banking or credit card sites),
that is asking you to update your information, email address etc.
Signing in from that link gives cyber pukes your login information
and now they can steal your identity.
If you want to update those things, YOU type the url address into
the url address bar in a separate browser window and go to the site
from there, NOT from inside of the email that you received.
(a url address for those who do not know – is the internet address
where a site is located on the [world wide web] internet -usually
ending in dot com/biz/net/org/name/ or other dot something’s)
Whose calling, Please? It’s most likely not who you think it is.
And while I am at it, PLEASE do not give anyone who calls
you any information about you or your family, or believe for
one nano second that your favorite grandson or daughter is
stranded while backpacking in some exotic local, or that they
are unlawfully being held in a foreign jail and need bail money
or money for an attorney. It is 99.999% not true, (I hope).
Not even if little “Tubby Cubby” calls you himself to ask for
the money. The reason you can’t hear him that well is NOT
due to a bad connection or bad phone lines in a 3rd world country,
it is solely so you can not tell that it is not really his voice,
because HE is not calling you.
Hang up, take a deep breath, call family members to find out
– call police and ask them, as these are all scams that have been
successfully used to steal identities and the life savings of many people,
especially older people who have no idea about cyber crimes
or how phone scams work-both based on how easy it is to get
personal information about us and then make us believe they
Just do not believe any call that comes in about anything.
Hang up, and VERIFY yourself and NOT by calling the phone
number they gave you.
While I am not a lawyer, a member of law enforcement, a
security authority in anyway, I am concerned with the ease
that these criminals can get useful information from decent people.
These are not all the things that can be done, nor are any
of them a guarantee that you will not be hacked. You most likely will.
But these do help in stopping the scum slobs from getting too much
useful information from us, and right now that seems the best we can hope for.
When you go for the prize BEFORE you have shown value of any kind, the potential client thinks “Who the heck ARE you, anyway and why are you in my face?” 'Who the heck ARE you, anyway & why are you in my face?' Click To Tweet
Don’t waste your time or the time of a potential client, and don’t eliminate yourself from the game before you have even given yourself a chance by jumping the gun and being obnoxious.
Before you hope to gain someone as a client, You need to woo ‘m and wow ‘m, only then can you win ‘m.
The maker culture is a contemporary culture or subculture representing
a technology-based extension of DIY culture that intersects with hacker culture (which is less concerned with physical objects as it
focuses on software) and revels in the creation of new devices as well as tinkering with existing ones. The maker culture in general supports open-source hardware. Typical interests enjoyed by the maker culture
include engineering-oriented pursuits such as electronics, robotics, 3-D printing, and the use of CNC tools, as well as more traditional
activities such as metalworking, woodworking, and, mainly, its predecessor,
the traditional arts and crafts. The subculture stresses a cut-and-paste
approach to standardized hobbyist technologies, and encourages cookbook
re-use of designs published on websites and maker-oriented publications. There is a strong focus on using and learning practical skills and applying
them to reference designs
Roll my eyes.
…or how about this excerpt from Time Magazine
The maker movement, as we know, is the umbrella term for independent inventors, designers and tinkerers. A convergence of computer hackers and traditional artisans, the niche is established enough to have its own magazine, Make, as well as hands-on Maker Faires that are catnip for
DIYers who used to toil in solitude.
Laugh like a loon and choke on my quinoa
What the hell is the matter with you people?
Those are the nicest things I say and do when I read that crap.
First off, Please accept my half-hearted apologies in advance, but
I am going to be snarky and that may hurt some feelings. If so, well OK,
I’m sorry…I guess.
Secondly, Here’s what happened.
While researching for a business & economics article I am writing on the
Industrial Age and the changing world, I came across several “ideas” that
espoused the notion that the Industrial Age was being replaced by the
Maker Age or the Maker Culture
I’ve heard the word “maker” a lot in the last decade, and each time I hear it I wince.
It’s like nails on a chalkboard.
It always makes me think of a group of soft-handed, fluffy, humans with no clue that what they have just discovered they could do (make stuff) had actually been being done by gazillions of other (less soft-handed and fluffy) humans for millennia.
Yes, I know this may come as a shock to a lot of people, but people have been “makers” since time began, with a select few pausing (in the western world)
during the last 3 decades when fresh out of university, they considered
themselves too intelligent to be bothered with changing the oil in their
car, or gasp, changing the flush valves on their toilet (a feat that takes a
youtube video (or not) and less than 10 minutes when done by a “normal”
person vs days when a plumber is called) but warrants a trophy when
accomplished by a “maker”
The world is full of competent, capable, useful men and women who just
“did stuff” and went on with their day, not giving it much thought. They
were called handy, builders, creators, artists, coders, etc… but never “makers”
So, bottom line, anyone who is not a soft-handed “urbanite” has been a
“maker” their whole life
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE Technology. And Techies- those awesome peeps with hoodies & Macs. Some of my best friends are “techies” and I lived for
They can be great as friends, especially when your computer crashes or
you need a script written, but you just can NOT allow them to run wild
and name things. Not terms for things they come up with (can you say JIFS??),
not their kids, and certainly NOT entire era’s. They will screw it up EVERY time.
They take words that are already in use and just start using them (incorrectly), redefining them to mean what they want them to mean (when queried) which
really makes no sense when they could just have one of their other “maker”
friends come up with a new word for their new tech discovery.
Which brings me back to “Makers”
Could a name of a movement BE any dumber?
It sounds like something a child came up with when they could not think of the right word to use. You know, like “someone who eats” is an Eater.
“Hey mom, look at that Eater over there eating an ice cream. Can I have one, too?”
Yes, technically, they ARE an eater, but no one would actually call them eaters.
Not as a term that describes what they do while occupying their spot in history’s timeline
If you ARE going to coin a new word for a new era in history, why not choose a cool one, or a pretty one or a really “outrageous” one, or even just a regular one like renaissance revival or something, but “maker”? Hell NO, and no thanks. That is just too stupid.
Renaissance means a cultural rebirth and sounds so melodic and Artisan just sounds cool. So, how about Artisan Revivalist or Artisan Renaissance. Yes!!
That’s it. I love it. Either one works.
Here is how it will look in wiki, when it gets there.
The Artisan Renaissance
The natural follow-up to the fall of industrialism with its “every robot for himself mentality”, to the “let’s make it ourselves and make it special” era.
An era of robust building and creation where everyone who wants to
.The Artisan Renaissance Age. Yep. I just coined a phrase and a really cool one.
My work here appears to be done.
There is a solid distinction between who should feel shame
and those who should not, and sadly the popular notion d’jour
makes no distinction between them and simply decrees “shame is bad.”
Under certain circumstances, shame is OK (and deserved)
and we need to stop telling everyone not to feel it.
Some people need to feel it and deserve to feel it.
If you like hurting babies, kids, animals and old people then SHAME ON YOU.
It is not OK to do those things or to be someone who enjoys doing things like that.
Your parents (hopefully),
People on social media,
Society as a whole,
the golden rule,
I don’t care what silly useless magazine, talk show host or guest, or internet site
told you that shame was bad, wrong or unnecessary. For people like you, It’s not,
and You should be ashamed of yourself.
So go right ahead. FEEL the shame. Wallow in the shame. Own the shame
Then STOP THE HELL DOING shameful things.
Now, when and if you stop doing those things, make restitution to those you hurt-
sometimes you can’t-but you can at least acknowledge what you did and that it was wrong and then ask forgiveness from them (with little expectation of receiving it
-since you don’t deserve it)
you can let go of the shame and move forward with the changes you MUST DO so as NOT to do those shameful things ever again
If you can not do this on your own, then seek professional help, as it MUST BE DONE. (not so much the ridding of your shame but more the stopping of the shameful things you like to do)
When is shame wrong, silly and just downright dumb?
The wheels in our head goes, Shame, Shame, Shame.
Feeling shame for something you have/had no control over is dumb
and moreover a major waste of time and energy. You need to reject it,
eradicate it, refuse to feel it, and dump it.
You do not get to take ownership or responsibility for something you did not
do or make happen, so unless YOU were the bad guy DOING THE BAD STUFF TO OTHER PEOPLE, let it go. The shame is NOT yours.
When someone does something bad, hurtful or damaging to you,
THEY ARE THE ONES WHO SHOULD BE ASHAMED, not you. Never you.
Especially if you were younger, weaker or unable to stop them.
I am as serious as a heart attack in a closet without a doctor or a phone.
There are some really bad people in this world, who do really bad things
to other people and animals, and when that happens they sometimes
not only leave behind the obvious damage they did, but sometimes a
sense of shame can develop in the victim.
That is wrong and if the victim does nothing to get rid of the shame, then
basically the victim is inadvertently continuing a form of the abuse.
It is NEVER OK to feel shame when you are the victim. Never.
Notice that the word EVER is included in NEVER.
If thinking it through logically and pragmatically does not eliminate any
shame you may have allowed to develop and stay, COMPLETELY- AND I DO MEAN COMPLETELY, then you MUST seek professional help. The shame must go and if it takes a professional to help you, then by golly, so be it.
… Go, and make it so!
Disclaimer: Please READ. Remember, I am NOT a doctor or medical professional of any kind, so if you see yourself in this post, you may need to contact a professional to deal with your behavior, the shame or lack thereof.
When you focus on the smaller things in life you tend to find the greatest happiness.
Ever heard of warm fuzzies? Warm fuzziness are the things that cause those feelings of happiness (usually accompanied by a soft smile)
Happiness is waking up in the morning to that bowl of your favorite cereal that you’ve looked forward to since you brought it home from the store -ignore the fact that it is totally unhealthy.
It is the beautiful sight, sound, scent and feel of a newly bathed snugly baby.
It can be sitting down on the couch, in front of a fire on a chilly night to watch the
newest episode of your favorite TV show.
It’s getting a backrub from the love of your life or picking out a favorite outfit to
wear to work, or even a special event.
It’s also that delightful feeling you get at night while lying in bed and you wake up
just a tad, roll over, resettling your arm under the pillow and the sheet is cool.
These are all examples of what many of us would consider ‘little things’ but that
doesn’t mean that they can’t be absolutely instrumental in helping us to feel happier.
These are ‘creature comforts’ and pleasant asides but they are super powerful in
raising our mood and helping us to feel on top of the world
… but you’ve got to notice them and most people don’t.
So the question is, how do you get to the point where little things make you happier and
how do you make sure you have a constant supply of such things to make you happy?
Finding out and listing the Little Things
The first thing to do is to find those little things and to make sure they keep coming. All of us have things that make us feel great and all of us have hobbies and activities that we enjoy. Create a list of things you like. Not big stuff. Make it a point to see how many things you can list that you truly enjoy but are actually small or common things. The list will also help make you more aware of the things that are already happening but that are ignored.
The trick then is to figure out ways you can enjoy those things on a regular basis–
whether it’s a favorite food, favorite outfit or your favorite TV show.
Next, you gotta plan. You need to come up with a plan that allows you to create
maximum enjoyment with those things.. Here is where delayed gratification comes in.
A little ‘pleasure delay’ can work wonders for getting your anticipation growing, and anticipation makes everything better.
Ideally you want to spend the whole day looking forward to that thing that you want
to do in the evening. Don’t constantly indulge yourself, but instead build up the moment
in your mind and look forward to it (at least for a few hours if not all day) happening.
Great Things to Do
The problem is that many of us don’t know how to make the most of our spare time.
We think we don’t have time to do the things we need to do, much less any extra
or spare time. But we really do. Most American adults spend well over 5 hours a day
vegging in front of the television watching stuff we don’t even really care about and
then gripe because we have no spare time.
Television time IS spare time. And if we are smart we will make better use of it.
In truth, there are countless things we enjoy (or would enjoy had we ever taken
the TIME to try them) that we could be doing during that now “reclaimed”
spare time and the vast majority of them are free.
You could explore a local park- take your camera or use your smart phone to take
tons of pictures and videos. You can then download a free image editor and have
a blast turning them into masterpieces.
Do you live near a beach? Just sitting with your feet in the water as it
rolls in and out is relaxing, yet fun.
You could read that book you bought ages ago and forgot about or go to the library
and see if there is anything interesting in some subjects you never thought about before.
You could try cooking something weird and ambitious or just make something you
are good at, turn it into your specialty, and then cook or bake it for friends, neighbors
or colleagues once in a while. You could try to plant your own bonsai tree or
hens and chicks. (look them up online to find out what they are and how to grow them)
Topiaries are an amazing art form. Do a google search and see all that come up.
There are a million different activities to choose from (even if there are only
999,999 that is still a lot of things to check out) and surely you can find several
things you find interesting and would enjoy doing.
Spend some time thinking about all the exciting things you could do at home to
create happiness and make a habit of writing more ideas down as they come to you.
Indulge in your favorite food in the mean time and if that doesn’t create happiness,
you need to change your favorite food to something better.
With a little though and planning, suddenly your life will be filled with amazing
little moments of enjoyment that give you warm fuzzies and a smile.
What things came to your mind while reading this? Grab and pen and paper
and start making the list of little things you would enjoy and you might
even start becoming happier just making the list.